the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
