you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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