Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
