and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
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