NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
