he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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