remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
