My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
