Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
