For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize