Your mouth is God's brothel.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
