You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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