1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
