1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
