I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
