sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize