Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
