everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
