I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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