Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
