there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
