so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
