Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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