I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
so much tequila, so little girl.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
