apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
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