my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
