ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
please come you make the beer taste better
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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