let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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