I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
