This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I supernannyed him into submission
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
