Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
