Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
