tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
