I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
She needs sedatives and a leash
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
