Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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