But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
