Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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