Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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