the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
