Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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