Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
