IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
