you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
