She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
