this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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