I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
