i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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