Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
