I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
