Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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