Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
