Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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