I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
