WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
