you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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