i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
so much tequila, so little girl.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You left your phone here
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