eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
