I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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