Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
