and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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