He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I booty called her while she was in labor.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
