You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I take back everything I said about communal showers
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
