4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
